


Gave Up Gold for Grains of Sand

by daisyisawriter91



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Feels, Heartbreak, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Lucifer (Supernatural) is Called Nick, M/M, Post-Break Up, Raphael is female, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 12:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14261247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisyisawriter91/pseuds/daisyisawriter91
Summary: What only adds to Michael's heartache is seeing his ex on a date. Just wonderful.





	Gave Up Gold for Grains of Sand

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic comes from Andra Day's "Gold', which I recommend you go listen to right away, because it's amazing. Without further ado, please enjoy!

Michael had never known heartache like this. Nothing he’d ever experienced came close to seeing this.   
Michael had been innocently walking down the street in the chill of December, made worse by the moon in the sky, his hands deeply rooted into the pockets of his coat. His breath misted out in clouds as he walked, the slight breeze biting into his exposed cheeks.   
He’d been running an errand for his younger brother, Gabriel. Gabriel was a drama queen when he even had a slight cold. He was proclaiming that he was in his final hours when he’d only been sick for one day. Michael, unable to stand it anymore, had offered to run out for fresh cake, feeling an odd sense of satisfaction in leaving Gabriel with a petulant Nick and an irritated Raphaela.  
On the way to his brother’s favorite bakery, he passed a cozy restaurant, the windows just slightly fogged up. And Michael made the mistake of looking inside. It was there that he found the source of his heartache. Cain Richardson, the most stunningly handsome man on the face of the planet.  
He was sitting at a discreet table in the corner with a gorgeous woman, drinking wine and looking for all the world like Michael never existed. He laughed at something the woman said, eyes crinkling in the way Michael loved. Soon, it would be the woman’s trait to love. Or maybe it already was.  
Michael stared at them for a moment, slack-jawed, before finally remembering himself and walking away, back the way he came.  
It had all been his fault. All of it. Cain with…with…with _that woman_ was all Michael’s doing. He only had himself to blame. And that hurt more than anything else. He hadn’t realized what he had, until he no longer had it.  
Michael had met Cain when he was in his final year of law school, when Cain was going across campus, compiling research for his novel. Michael had instantly found him attractive and asked him out. After that, they dated for three years. The best three years of Michael’s life. Until Michael’s ex, Crowley, came back into the picture, and Michael took pity on the poor man. He’d been going through a rough time, and needed somewhere to go. Michael, no matter his relationship with the person, couldn’t resist helping someone in a rough patch.  
Cain knew from the beginning that Crowley was bad news, but Michael hadn’t listened. It got ugly. Cain threatened to leave, and Michael didn’t listen. He followed through, and Michael came back to find their apartment empty of Cain. And of Crowley, who’d only been scamming him for money.   
For six months, his brothers and sister watched him spiral down the drain. Alcohol, one-night-stands, sleepless nights, the whole nine. None of it compared to Cain. Michael wanted nothing more than to go back in time and stop himself from taking Crowley in. It was the worst mistake he’d ever made.  
Michael speed-walked home, abandoning his mission for cake. There was no way he was going to pass that restaurant ever again, not after seeing that.   
After those six months, Michael determined he couldn’t be alone anymore. He made the smart move and moved in with his brothers and sister. Gabriel was in college and Raphael was in police academy, so neither could afford a place to live on their own. Nick, a successful businessman, had plenty of room for all of them.  
Michael entered the apartment building and bypassed the elevator. He needed the exertion of the stairs.  
He went up seven flights of stairs before he reached the correct floor. Without even looking around him, he opened the door to the apartment and slammed it behind him.  
Gabriel was sprawled on the couch, watching his go-to sick movie, Beetlejuice. Nick was watching it with him, clearly bored out of his mind. Raphaela was nowhere to be seen.  
Nick and Gabriel both looked up as Michael entered.  
“Where’s the cake?” Gabriel asked. Michael ignored him and continued on to his room.  
“Mike?” Nick called after him. “What’s wrong? Mike!”  
Michael slammed his door shut and stripped off his coat, throwing it onto his bed. He sat beside it and buried his head in his hands.  
He didn’t know how long he was alone. When Nick asked to come in, he turned his brother away without a second thought. It was only nearing midnight when he let someone in. Raphaela, his younger sister.  
She sat next to him on the bed.  
“What’s got you down, honey?” She asked, kindly, rubbing his back.  
“I saw Cain, today. He was on a date.” Michael answered.  
“Shit…” Raphaela mumbled, “Michael, I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s all my fault. You and I both know that.”   
“Stop being so hard on yourself, Michael.” Raphael scolded. She wasn’t the gentlest person, but her methods usually got results from Michael. Usually. When he hadn’t so colossally fucked up, that was.  
“I can’t, Raph. Because I was a fool. All of you told me that Crowley was still horrible, that’d he’d strip me of everything I had. I didn’t listen. I never listen, do I?” Michael mumbled.  
“No. That’s why you’re not listening to me now. You did what you thought was right, okay? That’s all you can ask of yourself.” Raph said. “You learned from the experience, right? Now you know, for whoever you date next.”  
“I doubt there will ever be a ‘next’.” Michael stood up, grabbed his coat, and left the room. “I’m going to take a walk.”  
In a daze, he walked out of the building and onto the streets. He wasn’t sure how long he walked, only that he was losing feeling in his feet and his cheeks were rubbed raw. Thankfully, not from tears. He’d run out of those a long time ago.  
“Michael?” A call broke through his haze, making Michael turn around. Thankfully, he was still on the sidewalk, or his body coming to a full stop would’ve eventually gotten him hit by a car.  
Cain. Cain had called his name. Luckily for Michael’s heart, who likely couldn’t take much more than a sudden appearance from Cain, he was alone. The woman he’d been with in the restaurant with was nowhere in sight.  
Despite the situation, Michael still smiled at the sight of his old flame. Cain would always have that affect on him.  
“Hello, Cain.” Michael greeted, praying that his voice didn’t break. It didn’t, but only by a little bit.   
“I thought I saw you, earlier.” Cain said.   
“Really?” Michael was vague. He would never lie to Cain, but he refused to tell the truth.  
“Yeah. It was odd, but nice to see you again. How are you?” Cain asked.   
Michael debated saying that he was fine. He debated many things in those split seconds between Cain’s question and his answer. But, he’d vowed long ago that he’d never lie to the man he loved.  
“Truth be told, Cain, I’m quite miserable.” Michael answered. “If I’m being entirely honest with you, I’ve missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything.” Cain looked to be thinking, carefully.  
“Are you going to ask for me to come back?” Cain questioned, no tone inflection. Simple curiosity.  
“No. No, I’m not. Because I made a big mistake. And even if you forgave me for it, which I’d never expect from you, it would still be involving you in a miserable situation again. But this time, I’m the piece of work. So, no, Cain. I’m not going to ask for you to date me again. Either way it turned out, I don’t think I could handle the answer.” Michael began to walk away, but stopped himself. “If I…If I wasn’t such a mess, and I asked for you to come back…would you say yes?”   
“I think I would.” Cain replied, still a bit shocked by Michael’s earlier answer.  
The words broke Michael’s heart.  
“Goodbye, Cain.” Michael dismissed, unable to take any more of this. He turned on his heel and walked away.  
He got lost in the city, and didn’t crawl his way home until after dawn, all the while, his conversation with Cain ringing in his ears.  
Michael gave up what made him truly happy, and he would never stop regretting it.


End file.
